Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Note to self: buy an abacus

So here it is, February 20th and we've ALREADY ruined The Girl's life at least 6 times this year! This could be a record...I'm going to call Guinness so we can find out. (Maybe they can send a keg over while they're checking!) Our goal is to set the world's record for number of times in one year parents can ruin a child's life. I really feel like we've got a chance this year.

Today's tantrum began when The Girl decided she will be advancing another level in gymnastics very soon. No one actually told her this...she deduced it on her own. Her logic is that another girl in her class is moving up; therefore, she is surely to follow soon. Apparently, it does not occur to our precious one that the girl who is advancing is far more skilled than she. In her mind, these things do not matter. All that matters is that the girl who is advancing cannot do a back handspring. The Girl cannot do one either. Ergo, The Girl must be moving up soon.

Since we are mean, horrible parents, we refuse to fill our darlings' heads with nonsense. Neither The Husband nor I am willing to blow smoke up her ass and tell her she's amazing and surely will advance soon. No. Instead, we point out that if The Girl does want to advance, she is going to have to work harder. We have plenty of equipment in the garage for her to exercise regularly and build up her core strength. We encourage her to use the opportunity to her benefit. Instead, she points out how faulty and inconsiderate we are because we have yet to purchase any true gymnastics equipment. Hell - we haven't even built her a balance beam! We're monsters! Someone call child protective services!

Let the record show we are on "life ruining" episode 7 tonight. Keep counting...


  1. No, no I am most definitely the meanest, most awful mother around LOL. Keara and the girl should commiserate together. :) Are we in so much trouble...can't wait for the teen years ;)

  2. I have to agree with Jenni - while I have no doubts of your life ruining skills thus far - the teen years are BY FAR the best! My little precious is 17 going on 30 and I could tell you volumes...but no need to slow you down when you have a balance beam to construct. :-)

  3. OH you mean mommy! How could you?! Aren't girls fun? I hear the drama only gets worse once the hormones kick in...

    Someday they will appreciate us. :)


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