Friday, October 29, 2010
A question of WHY
A friend of mine recently posted on a bulletin board how sad she was about how women treat each other. Her descriptive words included the following:
And you know what? She's right. In fact, there are several words she didn't use, but then again, she is far more classy than I. Had it been my post, I'd have used all those other unsavory words as well!
Why is this? Why are women like this? What is wrong with us? And - more importantly, why are we allowing this and perpetuating it?
Let's face it...we are not born mean. We learn it. We learn it from our mothers, sisters, peers, idols, etc. Being a MeanGirl is a learned behavior. When we are young, we love everyone. We are friends with everyone and we want everyone to be friends with us. But then we see the women around us excluding people. We hear them talking about how ThisWoman is not quite good enough and ThatWoman is not thin enough and TheOtherWoman doesn't wear the right clothes or act quite right. We see the women around us hug their DearFriends and chat about the latest and greatest only to hear them privately speak ill of each other when those same DearFriends are not around.
Why is this OK with us? Why are we teaching our daughters to be mean?
One of my other friends replied to this first friend by telling her "I'm finding the older I get, the more easily I can "scratch" crappy, dangerous or otherwise unhealthy people right off my mental "friend-list" and never look bad or feel bad about it!" Isn't that wonderful? How liberating that feels! Can you imagine having that power when you are in your 20s? Or - even better yet, imagine that power and confidence when you are in your teens!
I am ready to do something. I am ready to stop the toxicity in my world. I know myself well enough to know I will most likely continue to speak ill of people from time to time; however, I will do everything in my power never to do so in front of The Girl. She is 12. She deserves better than that. I know she will experience MeanGirls in her life; she already has. But maybe I can teach her to let them go a little bit sooner than I learned to.